Addiction Rock Bottom, Why does it have to be so deep?

Conventional “wisdom” in the field of addiction says that an addict often must “hit bottom” before they will be ready to begin the process of recovery. My question is, “Why does the bottom have to be so deep before that process begins?” Why wait until ones’ life has been completely turned upside down before you realize that you help. Some would say that the consequences must be great before the disease of addiction finally sinks in. I would say that in most instances consequences don’t matter to an addict. If consequences mattered then the “bottom” would never exist at the point at which an addict’s life is essentially destroyed.

Recently a mother of 3 who drinks too much drank too much in front of her children. It was not the first time. It was not the second time. It has happened on enough occasions that the children could see it coming and implored their Mother not to let it happen. When it did happen they were justifiably upset and the following day the emotional burden was evident on their faces. Evident to everyone it would appear except their Mother. Clearly the Mother has made a choice that her children’s emotional well being is not as important to her as is her alcohol. Shouldn’t the pleas of her children to stop drinking be her “bottom”. Does she really have to wait for someone to get physically hurt or her children to get emotionally scared?

An alcoholic recently received her first DUI. Her attorney told her she did not need to enter treatment. Why not? Is the attorney waiting for her to dive deeper to her “bottom”? Why isn’t the first DUI deep enough? Shouldn’t this be a big enough wake up call to seek treatment before she ends up in jail or someone gets killed?

Lastly an addict in our program is about to lose his family. Estranged from his wife and children, unemployed and just starting to get the message that it is time for help. His problems started years ago but a sense of urgency to change the direction of his life is just catching up to him now. He is too late. His “bottom” is too deep for his family to deal with and they have moved on; emotionally and physically.

I am not sure how we can get the message out to everyone in need. Consequences alone will not do it. We see over and over again that addicts don’t get the message until the “bottom” is so deep that everyone that they care about is jumping ship. We must find a way to bring the “bottom” up to a more acceptable level before lives are destroyed.

There is an old saying, “A fool closes the gate after the horses are gone”. An addict needs to hit his “bottom” before it is too late. Don’t let the bottom be too deep and this won’t happen.

“It’s The Little Things That Can Cause Failure”

Once, many years ago one of my mentors mentioned to me “take care of the little things and all the big things will be taken care of.” This seems simple enough to say but sometimes very difficult for some of us to follow. In recovery from any addiction it seems that it is the little things that are not followed is what gets us into trouble. What is about not taking care of the little things in our recovery that leads us back down the road to relapse?

Conceptually when we take care of the little things it is usually a sign that we are also taking care of the big things that are important to our recovery. Why is it that when we stop taking care of the little things it seems shortly after that we stop taking care of the big things? And we all know what happens when we stop taking care of the big things in our recovery, we are no longer in recovery, but in relapse mode. Let’s attempt to examine why this downward spiral takes place. First question that needs to be answered is why do we stop taking care of the little things in our recovery? Do we become lazy, complacent or just don’t think we need to take care of these things because they just don’t seem important enough to warrant the effort?

My theory is that once we determine that some of the smaller responsibilities are no longer worthy of our effort, then shortly after that we have the mentality that the bigger responsibilities in our recovery are no longer worthy of our efforts also. In summary I believe what happens is once we deem the little responsibilities don’t need to be accomplished our minds soon tell us we don’t need to take care of any of our commitments in recovery, big or small. Recovery to be achieved must be taken very seriously and all the components of the recovery program, big or small, must be taken very seriously. So would you agree with one of my old mentors, “take care of the little things and the big things will be taken care of”.

In His Own Words

After years of alcohol use, the progressive us increased to a point where my life had become unmanageable. It was affecting my health and the relationship with my family and friends. Initially I attempted to attain sobriety o my own. This was a complete failure. After many bad episodes attributed to alcoholism, i realized that I needed professional help. through my family and my doctor I was directed to Synergy Group Services, Inc. for professional rehabilitation. This was the best decision I had made for myself, for a solid recovery and follow up care. I would recommend synergy Group Services, Inc. to anyone who is committed to recovery and getting their life back.

It is working for me!

Steve

In With the New...

Now that you have had the opportunity to review the past year and evaluate what needs to be thrown out and what should be kept, it is time to look ahead with optimism for the year to come.

think about positive changes to focus on. Eliminate negative people or situations from you life. A change in the direction of your life starts with a change in your thinking. If you have been unhappy with things in your life then change starts at the top. Literally the top of your brain. You must make a decision that part of what has created an addiction or any other negative influence in your life is your own decision making. It was a conscious decision to maintain a bad relationship, or allow a negative person to influence your decision making, or a boss to treat you badly.

This is your opportunity to change all that. The person whom you have been waiting to change is never going to change. You must change instead. Change your thinking. Change the direction of your life. Positive things only.

Out with the Old....

The end of a year is always a time for reflection. a time to look back on the events of the previous year. Every where we look someone is making a list. Top moments, top songs, best movies, top news stories and of course the polar opposites of those top stories with the worst of all those areas as well.

From a personal standpoint the year end is a perfect time to reflect on the happenings of the previous 12 months. Some of those happenings we can be proud of and for those who are honest enough to admit it, many we would rather forget.

Don't forget them. Own them. Embrace them. Recognize them. Process them. And then put them behind you never to heard from again. Don't beat yourself up over them.

Accept full responsibility for them and learn from them but recognize that we often grow more from our mistakes than we do from our victories. If you allow those moments of defeat to dwell in our minds then we are destined to repeat them. Anyone who says that that have nothing to be ashamed for in the course of the previous year are simply being dishonest with themselves.

The Cost of Meds vs. The Cost of Rehab

Recovery does not come cheap. Financially, emotionally, and even physically there is a huge cost that must be paid in order to complete the transition from addiction to recovery. The financial burden is often one that is very difficult for the family and client to bare. Rehab is expense. Even an average program can cost up to a thousand dollars a day. Unfortunately cost does not in any way equate to quality. You don't always get what you pay for and I will save the discussion of how to pick the right program for another day. for now let it suffice to say that to pay for one treatment program is hard enough; to pay for more than one is almost impossible.

That being said it is imperative that any addict do whatever they can to prevent relapse. In many instances that means taking your meds!! Yet too often I hear that meds are expensive and patients can't afford to take them. the reality is that patient can't afford not to take them. In most instances between the cost of generic medications and generous patient assistance programs, drugs have never been more affordable. Every pharmaceutical company has very liberal patient assistance programs that provide free medication. But even with all that a monthly supply of medications can cost $200-$300. That is a lot of money. yet it is still cheaper than rehab. If you don't take your meds you are destined to relapse. It is not a possibility. It is a reality.

Rehab is expensive. Relapse is more expensive. Take your meds.

Whose Program is it Anyway?

WE see it all the time. Very often the addict shows up for his or hers 28 day treatment program not sure if they are ready for treatment. Not sure if they are committed to the process of moving toward recovery. the client is quiet and often withdrawn. Getting them to open up is often a challenge. Many still have the affects of the drug of choice still in their system and affecting their behavior. Sooner or later every addict who successfully completes a treatment program does open up however, and recovery becomes a real possibility.

The family however, is ready to go. They are ready to talk. They are anxious to tell their story; to vent to whoever will listen. They don't need any prodding or encouragement. Their therapy often begins with the first informational phone call.

Family members are desperate for therapy. Many of them may not even know it. They are just desperate to tell their story to someone. This cathartic behavior is often the most therapeutic process they have participated in for the past several years. for some that is all they need. They need to know that they are not alone. That there are other families out there who been in the same shoes and now it is time for some validation for what they are feeling and dealing with.

For many families it is far more than that they need. Remember that the genes don't fall far from the tree. Simply stated, many bipolar addicts are not the index case of bipolar disorder or some other psychiatric illness in the family. Many family members NEED therapy in order for their addict family member to get better. Family pathology and family dynamics must be addressed and every decent treatment program must have a family therapy as part of it's core curriculum.

So as a family member don't be afraid to jump into the treatment process with both feet. Family therapy is an important facet to an addicts recovery--and to your own.