The concept of giving up control to a higher power can prove difficult for many of us who are in recovery. When I first got sober, I felt like I had to control everything. If one thing was out of place in my house, I was upset. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect and in control, that I actually started spiraling out of control.
In my AA meetings, people talked about giving up control, letting life happen on life’s terms, etc., but I didn’t understand what that meant. I couldn’t relate to people who were easy-going, and I didn’t see how I could become one of them. People assured me that if I just kept coming back and was willing to listen, my life would improve.
I wanted to get better, so I kept going back, and things slowly started getting better. I heard stories that mirrored my own. I listened to other people who had more sobriety than me.
The thing that made the biggest difference was my willingness to become self-aware. Since I’m sober, I’m aware of my actions and their consequences. I see how my behavior affects others, positively or negatively.
I’m still a work in progress, but everyday I make a goal for myself to be a better person. I try to have more patience, I try not to judge others, I try not to put down others whose opinions are different than mine. If I make a mistake, I acknowledge it.
I’m starting to see changes in my marriage and my children that I never thought was possible. My spouse and I are listening to each other, not talking over each other. I’m trying to be more understanding with my children, and they appreciate when I stop and listen to them.
There are some days when I feel like a complete failure, I yell, lose my patience, and become irritated. But when I calm down, I have the ability to see what I need to work on. My eyes are open, so I look at my mistakes, try to correct them, and do better next time.
Here at our Florida based drug and alcohol rehabilitation center, we offer many programs for those struggling with substance abuse. We offer specialized treatment plans tailored to fit your individual needs. When addiction is part of our lives, it breeds chaos, so our lives can spiral out of control very quickly. If you are ready to live a life free from the bonds of chemical dependency, our treatment center is a great place to start.