secrets

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

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When I decided to get help with my alcoholism, I was finally sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Some days I woke up with a splitting headache, and full of guilt. I could barely look at myself in the mirror.

I tried to piece together the night before, but there were too many gaps in my memory from blacking out.

I remember being full of fear, anxiety, and shame. Millions of questions immediately filled my head. Did I call or text someone? Did I say something embarrassing? Did I do something I will regret? Did someone I know see me drunk?

All of these things questions paralyzed me with fear before I even got out of bed. Then I had to face my family and lie about my drinking.

I came up with many excuses why I was feeling sick. I said I had the flu, a cold, didn’t get enough sleep, etc. The lies started piling up and weighing on my shoulders.

Once I decided to enter into a treatment center for alcohol, I finally started being honest. A drug and alcohol rehabilitation center is a safe place to get better.

I was surrounded by people who had the same problems and stories as I did. They were honest about their drinking, which inspired me to be honest as well.

I learned many life-changing tools in rehab. These tools have saved my life and my marriage. Because I learned how to be honest in rehab, I was able to be honest with my husband. I shed all my lies, fears, and resentments.

My marriage is the happiest it has ever been. We are stronger because I don’t drink and keep secrets. My children are much happier, and I spend quality time with them everyday, not worrying about when I can slip away to drink.

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, our Florida based drug and alcohol treatment center offers help. We teach you how to live a lifetime of sobriety and customize treatment plans for each client that checks into our facility.

Moving Forward

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Moving forward is sometimes tough. It’s easy to fall back into old habits because they’re familiar and comfortable, even if it’s not the healthiest habits to continue. I used to run to alcohol when times got rough.

It was easier to drink and escape than to face reality. Drinking and keeping secrets started wearing me down, and I was taking my marriage along with me.

My spouse knew I was being secretive about my drinking, and it started to create resentments and anger.

I decided to check into a rehabilitation center to get sober because I wasn’t ready to give up on myself, my marriage, and my family.

Although I’m sober now, I can still fall back into old habits very quickly. One habit in particular is dwelling on the past and harboring resentments.

Sometimes when I have too much time on my hands, I begin to think about all the things one particular family member, I’ll call him Steve, has done to me. I feel myself become red, and start bubbling over with anger.

Before I got sober, I used to let these feelings dictate my life. I would remember something rude Steve said to me recently, a year ago, or maybe even more, and use this memory as fuel to start a war against him.

I used to drag my spouse into a fight, be rude to anyone related to Steve, and start ranting and raving to anyone who would listen about how I can’t stand Steve and his behavior.

I put my spouse in an impossible position, because he had to be the referee. It took a toll on my health as well as my personal relationships.

Although I no longer run to the bottle, I can still run back to my old ways of thinking, which is a dangerous path. If I continue with my old ways of thinking, I can easily slip into convincing myself that I deserve a drink.

Checking into a certified drug and alcohol rehabilitation center like Synergy Group Services Inc., is what saved me. Our Florida based treatment center teaches tools for recovery that will always stay with you though a lifetime. When you check into our facility, you learn ways of coping with negative people, feelings, and behaviors. Once you learn coping strategies, people like Steve won’t send you running for the bottle anymore.

Finding Serenity

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When I thought of serenity, I thought of total peace, a world with no worries, and complete happiness.

Now I realize that serenity is being able to walk through challenges in life with grace and dignity. I don’t have to pick up a drink because the road is rough. I don’t have to apologize to anyone for my behavior. I don’t have to live in fear of my actions when I was drunk.

No one’s life is completely care-free. Everyone in life has to face hard times. It’s the way we face them that brings about serenity.

I know I won’t be happy all of the time, it’s not realistic. However, I have found inner strength and peace in hard times. To me, this is serenity.

When I decided to become sober, I had no serenity in my life. I was living in constant fear, keeping secrets, and always worried that someone would find out that I was drinking.

When I drank, I blacked out, and didn’t remember who I talked to, if I called someone, and what I said.

It took me a long time to find some peace in my life. For the first year of my sobriety, I was anxious and worried a lot. I went through the entire spectrum of emotions from sadness, anger, humiliation, self-hate, regret, and fear, to acceptance, forgiveness, and eventually love, and peace.

Many times I would talk about the past, and dwell on certain issues. My sponsor always said, “you wouldn’t walk into a store and ask for a calendar from 1996 would you? As far as I’m concerned, it’s all in the past.” These brilliant words of wisdom lead me out of some of my darkest moments in my early sobriety.

If I didn’t have a wise sponsor, I probably would have fallen into a pit of self-pity and eventually turn back to drinking. Now I can live my life free from alcohol, knowing that I can face any problem without a drink.

I have never experienced such profound serenity as I do now. If you are ready to walk through life without the crutch of substances, our Florida-based treatment center can help. We offer specialized programs tailored to fit each person’s individual needs.

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