In Her Own Words

“Hello, my name is S. H. I come from a middle class background. I lived in Michigan then in Florida, while in Florida we moved to several places, because we moved we lacked social relations and we remained very close. I was always above average in school and sports but never the best. I began drinking in High School, this was a weekly habit until I got in trouble at sixteen. During summer break from school, I traveled with my family and went to sport summer camps with friends. While attending High School I met my husband, I remained sober for the rest of High School.

I left for college leaving my High School sweetheart behind, he soon proposed and we were engaged. After our fairy tale wedding we moved to Gainesville, Florida where I earned my bachelors degree as well as my masters degree. During my last semester of my undergraduate year I began to go out with the girls and my husband and his buddies. I began drinking heavily and experimenting with drugs at parties and clubs. First pot then cocaine, and a few other in between.

I managed to be able to achieve good grades, be involved in the college extra-curricular activities while still partying. I had two groups of friends, my class/volleyball friends and the people I partied with. I thrived of good and bad girl routine, and this challenge of balance. My goal for college was to get into doctoral school. I volunteered and held office positions in pre-professional clubs, and helped with research studies. I applied three times to only get on the waiting lists. Because I failed I went into a deep depression, this began a spiral of binges and daily usage of drugs. So much, my husband and I incurred a ridiculous amount of debt, finally I had enough it was either die or do something to change my life, I left it up to God. I asked what was his plan for me, career or family, I listened.

I got pregnant and stopped everything. Moved away, bought a house and began a career in Real Estate. I was very successful and made a great living with flexible time for my kids, while pregnant with my second child my family started to have moral dilemmas which questioned the values of which I was raised. I was confused and I felt it was all a lie, even though I had all this going on I still felt alone and confused. To add to this my baby had serious health problems at birth and was hospitalized for weeks. I tried to stay strong, I was drained trying to hold myself and my world which was now confused and chaotic. Together I developed post partum depression and began to self medicate with pills and coke. It was a two month binge of carelessness and stealing and lying to everyone I loved. I became trapped in my own house and isolated myself from everyone, my own thoughts became solitary confinement. I cried out for help and finally admitted I had a problem. No one understood they thought I had it all. They did not know about my addictive secret life and self loathing.

I came to Synergy Group Services, Inc, after a long phone call with the staff. I checked in after a painful goodbye to my kids and husband. I needed to figure out why I was so unhappy in my own skin so I could become a better mom, wife, daughter and person for myself. After a horrible detox from opiates I began therapy which allowed me to find out who I am, I also learned the tools I needed to deal with my addiction, I also started to take care of my body with the help of great nutrition and personal training in twenty eight days. This program was small and personalized. As a mom it was like a vacation, I caught up on sleep. My disease was finally diagnosed correctly I accepted my defects and put my life into God’s hand, I left feeling like myself for me, I surrendered my life and my plans became what God intended for me, my life became whole.”

Stephanie H.

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