From what I can recall I thought I had a wonderful childhood, I remember how we raised Saint Bernard puppies and how I cuddled with them and rode them like ponies when they got older. We usually had at least two Saint Bernards and despite their drool I adored them and they became my playmates.
I did have an older brother and sister (half siblings), but they were always doing chores and I guess I was too young so I was left to play by myself. My father was really strict and my mother was always trying to protect my brother and sister, therefore her time with me was very limited, “not now Lynn” was a very common statement.
My first recollection of a weight issue was in day camp when I was in the 6th or 7th grade, I was called buck teeth and thunder thighs, I began drinking diet 7 up and exercising. my mother has always exercised every morning and I just copied what she did. My mother has always watched her weight and exercised as long as I can remember; she also had always hid food under her bed and in her closet so to me that was normal.
In early high school I would try not to eat all day and then eat downstairs by myself at night. My brother and sister had both moved out when I was younger to get away from my father so I was left with a very depressed mother ( who hid in her room) and a very lonely father (who was very bitter).
I cannot actually recall the first time I binged and purged but it must have been on the 10th or 11th grade, so about 15 or 16. I thought it was great to be able to eat and still not get fat so that became my new routine and practically my life, school, home, binge, sleep, binge, watch tV, and bed. I still had friends but didnt really hung out with any of them.
At 16 I got a job as a car hop, yes, I did wear roller skates. I am not sure if working around food was the best job but that is what I did for the next ten years or more. I did manage to go to college but I lived at home so I could live with my food. School, work, and food then I added alcohol.
So I graduated from colleege eventually with an english and paralegal and still continued to live at home and weitress; to this day I still live next door to my mom and dad, I think I may still be trying to get their approval. My parents love me in their own way, they have not actually ever said it so although my mom tries to say it I dont really feel it but I still keep hoping.
I have been to different therapists throughout the years, as a child I think I was depressed so my mother took me to different therapists, but I was never really honest I was just happy to spend time with mom and have the attention.
Perhaps my disease started out to get attention and then it turned into an addiction. After almost spending more than half of my life I am ready to spend the next half of my life healthy and happy.
I am here today at Synergy Group Services to begin a new life of happiness the old Lynn with bad habits will always be remembered to teach the new Lynn how wonderful and happy and healthy life can and will be.