Time to cut the cord.
What truly is the definition of recovery? Is it the absence of drug use? I think not. Addiction comes in all sizes and shapes. It looks differently in different people. Addiction doesn’t just mean doing drugs or alcohol and recovery doesn’t just mean staying clean. It is very common that an addict substitutes one addiction for another or fails to eliminate all their addictions at once. For instance, an addict substitutes suboxone for heroin, clearly a better choice but a controlled addiction is still an addiction. Or while an addict is no longer using alcohol they may be addicted to other destructive behaviors that impair their recovery.
So what does recovery really look like. To me recovery means getting as far away from the world of addiction as possible. Not just clean. Not just free from your drug of choice. It means joining the real world. It means having a job, having a bank account, a credit card, a cell phone, and most importantly gaining independence.
The process of recovery so often gets in the way of that. Addicts don’t live in the real world even when they are clean. They live in halfway houses for months and months and they become addicted to meetings. At some point in order to be truly clean, to be truly in recovery, an addict must stop going to meetings. Meetings are the addicts umbilical cord. It is a cord that must be cut. In order to truly be in the real world as addict must get as far away from other addicts as possible. To put the addict world behind them as far as possible.
Join the real world. Cut the cord. Give up the meetings. Until you do you are not really in recovey.